PSA : Stop Running Back to Your Ex!

 

 

 

Ex's are bad news. I mean the title, "Ex" should say it all. But time after time, I see girls giving the cheaters a second chance, the users another kiss, and the one's you aren't meant for a fake seal of approval.

 

Girls. It's time to wake up and realize that they are your "Ex" for a reason. Meaning, in the past. I am by no means the expert on boyfriends, but here is what you need to understand about running back to your Ex-

 

 

 

1. He changed. You changed. It won't be the same-

 

I know the sting of loneliness can be almost unbearable at times. You start to daydream about all the great times you had together and before you know it you fell back in love with him...or so you think.

 

Truth is, he has changed. And so have you...for the better. When you try to rekindle the romance, only after getting yourself in too deep will you realize that, wait...he isn't the same person. But by that time, you have already fell hard.

 

Time to open that box of tissues.

 

 

 

2. The "perfect" guy is all about perspective-

 

Raise your hand if you think that, no matter what anyone says, your ex is the right guy for you. (I can see all the imaginary hands creeping up in embarrassment).

 

Well, you should be. We get so fixated on our ex's. We compare every guy we meet to them. You've done everything together for the past year (or whatever amount of time). You've spent holidays with each other's family, you could finally show your nerdy side, and your friends claimed you were practically married.

 

It's the law of comfort-ability that no matter what we always would rather say:

-"He wasn't so bad."

"He didn't cheat on me for real, i'll forgive him."

 

... then to take the risk to ask your crush out for coffee or realize that the slightly quirky guy from chemistry who  adores you, might actually be a pretty good guy.

 

If you keep comparing every guy to your ex, your prince charming is literally going to come and go without you ever even realizing and the guy from chemistry is going to move on to a girl that gives him a chance.

 Then comes the time when you look at another girl, "Why does she have him?"

 

Well, you could have, but you were to busy convincing yourself that "Ex" didn't cheat on your "technically".

 

Remember, your dream guy is ahead of you, not behind you. He might not be what you always pictured, but he will be the one.

 And you won't be settling, so never look back.

 

 

 

3. It always ends with you crying to your mom and eating lots of chocolate-

Rarely, rarely, does running back to your ex ever work out. 99% of the time, it leads to you being so upset that it starts to affect your life. You can't focus on school, you cry all the time, and withdrawal from everyone around you.

 

You end up more miserable than you were before, but except this time...you don't have anyone to blame but yourself...sorry.

 

 

 

4. He wants you back, for the wrong reasons-

 

 If he cheated, he is calling you to clear his name. If your best friends words of, "he isn't good enough for you", finally sunk in, he is trying to get his prize back. Maybe he is jealous, he doesn't want you with anyone else.

 

Regardless of which one of those it falls under, in each one "you" mean nothing. Just the "idea" of you means something.

 

You are so much better than that. Don't fall for his flirtatious text messages, good night calls before bed, OR that day where you rekindled the romance (which I strongly never recommend you get yourself into. BAD. BAD. BAD.), as signs that he loves you.

 

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T!

 

 

 

5. Being Single is the time to "Love YOU"-

 

Yeah, so on Valentine's Day it might stink, but being single is a growing experience that every girl should through. If you take this time to love you, gain confidence, and build your future, you will realize that being single might not be so bad after all and you will be stronger.

 

When Prince Charming does come around, you'll be ready. You will know who you are, where you want to be, your goals, your dreams.

 

Things you never would have figured out had you run back to your Ex.

 

 

 

Be single. Wait for Prince Charming.

 

It will be well worth it.



 

How to Survive being the "Group Leader"

 

As finals week approaches, it doesn't just mean tests and drinking record amounts of coffee, but the final crunch to get group projects done (or started for some of you).

As a naturally appointed group leader my entire life, I have learned a lot about what this role means. But in a college setting circumstances are even more complicated, as people have different lives, live on or off campus, and have different work ethics.

Here are skills every group leader needs to not only make sure the work gets done, but to motivate and inspire as well:


1. Be Flexible-

Probably the most frustrating aspect of group projects, finding a time that everyone can meet. As the group leader, it's your job to try to be at all the meetings. Be selfish and plan the meetings around your schedule. If they appointed you group leader, you are now the ONLY person who needs to always know what is going on. That being said, this will help when another member can't meet. At least their is one person you always knows what is going on.

That being said, if someone can't meet, that's ok. Don't get on their case about it. College is busy and everyone has a lot going on. Fill them in via email on what they missed and their responsibilities for the next meeting, which they are accountable for. Always hold people accountable, if not, they wont take the delegation seriously.

If you wait to only have group meetings when EVERY MEMBER can meet, you will never meet (trust me). So meet when most of the people can meet and be satisfied with that.

2. Be a smart delegator-

Delegating seems to be the only way to get work done in a group project, especially group papers. But don't put Joe on "Data Analysis" when he clearly indicated (or you used your intuition) that it isn't his strong point. Whether the person tells you or not, it is your responsibility to understand who your group members are and their strengths and weaknesses.

By knowing this, you will be able to delegate to them sections of the project that they will be able to do properly and well, saving you lots of time redoing the whole thing yourself the night before (which I know we have all done before). Not only that, but since they are comfortable with the section you gave them, it will show through their work and they will generally be more motivated to get it done (as opposed to something they hate or don't understand).

3. Focus on the people that are contributing, not those that aren't -

A tip from someone special, this tactic seems to work, even in a group project setting. If someone isn't getting the work done, don't get worked up about it. In the end, it isn't going to change anything.

Instead, lead a discussion with the person in private that might start like this, "Is everything ok? Does the project make sense? You aren't contributing as much as the others members of the group. Is there a part you would be more comfortable/would like doing? Can I help?"

Approaching the person calmly and with an understanding tone is better than attacking them. They may end of coming around once they feel they are being heard or feel that they really are an important part of the group.


4. Plan and Organize your meetings-

 Group meetings can turn into a lunch room conversation or a "What do we need to do here?" comment session fast. As the group leader when you first get the project requirements, map out a general timeline of when certain aspects of the project should be completed.

For each individual meeting, make sure you plan ahead:

• What part of the project you will be working on that day?
• Delegation for that meetings tasks
• Send out Outlook Meeting invites- Outlook will send reminders, request each group member respond, and put the meeting on each members Outlook Calendar. A useful tool every group leader should use.

Also, figure out a good way for your group to communicate. Have everyone exchange email and phone numbers. If you are changing a group meeting or have new info, cover your bases and send both a text and an email. They should get one/or the other.

Group meeting are all about using the time wisely, keeping everyone on task and informed. This is your job as a group leader.


5. Stay Positive! You will survive!-

Remember the last time you said, "This is going to kill me"?...

Well, you are still alive and you will be when you are done this group project too. Focusing on all the negatives of a group project will only make things worse, instead take it with a grain of salt and try to find the silver linings.

Does a group member make you laugh when you really need it, but doesn't really contribute to the project? What skills have you been able to develop as a result of being in some tough group situations (patience, organization, working with different personalities)? Have you made a new friend?

Yeah, these all aren't going to help you get the project done and get an "A", but it will alleviate some of the negative thoughts associated with a particular group.

Try to enter each group meeting with the thought, "This is going to be a good meeting, no matter what".

Trust me, 9 times out of 10, it will be. It's all a matter of perspective and your agility in handling the situation.

Being a group leader may seem like a curse, but it is actually a compliment. It means that others automatically, without question, believe you are a leader. Not everyone is born with these innate skills.

 

So take advantage of all the stress and pain of being a group leader, because it will prepare you for your destined leadership roles in the future.

Thanks Mom, For Making Christmases Special

It wasn't until I went to college that I realized how special Christmases' at home were. My Dad contributed (with his last minute (and I mean Christmas Eve last minute!) trips to buy gifts from a jam packed jewelry store and assistance on annoying "coming down the stairs pictures". He did help.

 But it was my mom who completely gave me a whole new standard of what it means to celebrate the holiday season.

1. Christmas Trees EVERYWHERE!-

When I was younger, my mother used to work for a home & garden store that would each year transform into a Christmas Shoppe similar to the national chain "Christmas Tree Hill". The weeks leading up to Thanksgiving for me and my little brother always meant lots of time at grandma's or Aunt Rosie's (our designated babysitters growing up). My mother would work late nights putting up over 20 different trees over the short weeks leading up to November first. She used to pick us up, her hands raw from manipulating all the lights on the trees (because my mother is a huge proponent for putting lights on trees...none of this pre-lit stuff...oh no!).

Well, needless to say, the Christmas Tree talent she had trickled over into our own home. Now each year my mother puts up 7 Christmas trees. Almost one in every room (and some now even two...oops). My mother is so talented at putting up trees that now several of her friends and family members make appointments with her to come put up their trees.

My mother has taught me that putting up Christmas trees is an art form. I look at so many other Christmas trees and think, "These just aren't as good as my mom's". And I now appreciate all those late nights at grandma's, impatiently waiting to go home.

2. Christmas Card are Not Dead!-

 My mother is still one of those women who PANICS when she doesn't have her cards done. To here, the world is going to end. My brother an I usually never hear the end of it about two weeks before Christmas.

So there she will sit, for hours and hours, and use a calligraphy pen (yes, not time efficient by my mother likes perfection...even with her Christmas cards). She sends cards to people she talks to every day and those she hasn't spoken to in years.

Now at 21, her Christmas card obsession has rubbed off on me. I too now search CVS shelves for the perfect Disney Christmas cards to send to all my friends. I sit and fill them with love and quirky jokes, slap on a Disney sticker, and send them on their way.

I have learned that sending a card of kind words during the holiday season is sometimes the best gift to give.

3. The Wrapping Station (DO NOT TOUCH!)-

 Just like my mother is the expert Christmas Tree decorator, her presents look like they just came out of a magazine. When I wrap a present you would never know we are even related (as mine look like a monster with 30 fingers pieced it together).

Her presents usually have bells and pieces of candy perfectly attached to sparkly bows that are curled to perfection.  She has designated wrapping paper for different people and just about any bow materials possible. And (just after she finishes writing all those Christmas cards) she usually disappears for the two weeks leading up to Christmas into the basement to wrap at her station, which is extremely organized (Christmas music playing in the background).


Here are a few other Christmas Memories of my mother:

• Her Santa Claus Punch. Which everyone insists they get the recipe for.
• Her Christmas Eve Party she puts on every year.
• Eating my grandma's Cookies for Breakfast for Weeks. My mother considers cookies for breakfast a perfectly fine option.
• Going to Hanover Home and Garden (the Christmas shoppe my mother used to work at) together...multiple times...a week.

 

 

As the holiday season begins, I encourage you to think of who made/makes your holiday season so special. And remember, they won't be around forever. So take pride in the holiday spirit they gave you and say...

"Thanks Mom. I love you!"

5 Men Every "Single" College Girl Needs During College (But Won't Marry)

As a single college girl, it's easy to get wrapped up in thinking about all the guys you DONT have. But lets not forget those you do. The men you meet today, shape the one you marry later.
Single ladies...take note:


1. "Mr. Successful Whom Everyone Knows"-

  It feels good to say you know him or to walk into a room with him. Suit perfectly pressed, guaranteed a glass filled office in D.C. or Wall Street.  You are obsessed with his ability to wow anyone he talks to and turn any situation in his favor. He could win a business card collection contest. This guy is 100%  Mother Approved.

But be warned, serious relationships are far beyond what lies on the outside. And single girls sometimes mix up pride of being with "the popular, successful guy" with feelings. You have to be able to be happy with this person when it's just you in your coffee stained pajamas, shamelessly eating Junior Mints on the couch. And chances are, you realize you could never do that with this guy. You're not even sure he even owns sweatpants...

No need to worry. This guy is still VERY IMPORTANT! This guy is going to teach you how to "walk the walk and talk the talk." You'll have the confidence, resources, and wit you need to command any room you walk in, without him.

So next time you shake the hand of a famous CEO, you'll act as if he was there beside you. Before you know it, you have a business card or a follow up phone call.

 2. The One Who Worships You-

 My single girls out there, CHERISH THIS BOY! DO IT.

This is the guy who will get you through those nights where you're like, "No one likes me." Because trust me, this is the guy who would do just about anything for you, but you keep ignoring him! And while I do not condone taking advantage of his easy to manipulate feelings, maybe you should give in. Give him a chance.

Let's be honest, guys who worship girls don't come around but every 1,000 years, so just let him love. It's not going to do any harm. You never know...you might just like him back.

Either way, remember this guy when you are dating a jerk. Remember this guy, and dump him. Women deserve to be worshiped.

3. Your Nerdy Sidekick-

This guy you don't have any romantic feelings towards but he sure does make for a perfect person to laugh over Papa John's with. Maybe he taught you how to read a military map or you both talk Star Wars together like it's the most important news story happening in the world.

Take note of all these quirky, odd moments. Just like you shouldn't be with a "Mr. Successful Whom Knows Everyone" if you aren't comfortable with him behind the scenes, you also  shouldn't be afraid to show a guy your nerdiest self.

Your Nerdy Sidekick is here to remind you all the fun you can have with a guy. So next time you are on a date with a guy who turns his nose up at watching Harry Potter all day...ask for the check!

4. The Sensitive, Good Listener, Shoulder to Lean on Guy-

Raise your hand if you have a guy who you talk like a girl to. Poor thing. The one who listens to all your petty girl problems, and even your boy problems too.

 A guy who listens and understands a girl's feelings is a winner! This guy isn't your boyfriend, but he's the one you find you need when your crush just cancelled your date. You run to his dorm room and you cry, your makeup is EVERYWHERE.

But be careful, this guy might be able to listen because he doesn't have the confidence to speak his mind. This guy is the person you practice that confidence you learned from the "Mr. Successful Whom Everyone Knows".

You need to try reversing the role for your Mr. Sensitive. Listening is not a role us girls get too practice much. We usually do the talking and never give guys a moment to chime in. But who knows the problems they are going through.


5. The Uncontrollable One, Who Makes You Laugh- 

Have you every thought of a guy and started to laugh, while shaking your head in denial. If you have, this is your "Mr. Uncontrollable, Who Makes You Laugh".   He is rambunctious, out of control, and a total rebel. Half the time when you are with him, you just want to cover your face and go, "Why?" You genuinely think you would go crazy if you dated him. He doesn't follow the rules, is a mediocre student, and thinks life is just going to fall into his lap.

But RELAX GIRL! He is just the medicine you need. As much as we want to be 100% put together and with the guy who sits perfect and looks pretty. Nothing is more uplifting than a little bit of humor (mixed with unpredictability). This guy is the one who reminds you that marrying that lawyer who worries about bills or a perfect life, isn't the one for you.

It's so much easier being with a guy that makes you laugh, then one that makes you cry.

My single college girls out there, you need these guys in your life and you only have 4 years to find them. Maybe you already have? Either way, always remember them, especially when....

 

someone gets down on one knee. 

How to make LinkedIn your Fairy Godmother

If you are one of those people out there who is not utilizing your LinkedIn page (those of you who can either barley remember your password or simply have your University listed) it's time to "get dolled up and go to that LinkedIn ball."

Like Cinderella's night out, creating an effective LinkedIn profile and remaining active can CHANGE YOU LIFE when it comes to pursuing your dream career and propelling yourself towards your future. Here are:

5 Ways to Make Your LinkedIn Account

 "Do Magic"

 

1. Join Groups that are Important to You-

Start joining groups related to your dream job and BECOME AN ACTIVE MEMBER. "Like" conversations and make comments. If you are feeling super brave, even try posting your own blog writing or insights about a recent article you read. It will show you are "doing your homework" on the company and makes you a credible member of the group. People will start to wonder, "Who is this girl" and go to your personal page. (By simply being an "active" member on the Disney group, I have gotten tons of hits on my personal page by Cast Members).

On a whim one day, I asked to join the Disney employee LinkedIn Group. And believe it or not...I GOT IN! Now I have access to conversations between Cast Members, exciting new information about the company, and recent job postings.

2. Make your page as PERFECT as your real resume-

LinkedIn is becoming the more convenient choice for recruiters who want an easy conclusion to the question, "What is this person capable of?" Instead of hassling through a stack of surveys, recruiters are looking at your LinkedIn because it is convenient and can tell them a lot about you (by just the click of a button).

....But not if you don't have anything there but your name and school.

Set aside 1 day to do a complete, "LinkedIn Makeover." Go through each segment and add anything you can. Make it look as professional as the resume you have on paper. Ask past employers or any professional you  know to write you a "LinkedIn Recommendation." This gives your page the added, credibility "stamp of approval" recruiters are looking for. Not to mention that when they see "VP of....." stating that you are "legit". Well then they believe...YOU ARE LEGIT!


3. Show Your Work!-

Stating your previous jobs and volunteer experience isn't going to show recruiters what you can do. Under the "Projects" section, upload any really great essays you have written for a class, works you have had officially published, or major projects under your "Projects" section. Also upload links to your online blog or personal website. Giving recruiters a chance to see your work in action, beyond writing a sentence about it on a resume, shows that you can produce.

4. "Stalk your stalkers"-

Check daily as to who is viewing your profile. If you see someone who has a connection to a future career you want, message them!

Create a standard "Hello" message template. Something that introduces yourself, acknowledges that you are a student, and explains to the person your career aspirations and goals. Believe it or not, people love helping college kids. You have absolutely nothing to lose, and you never know what one silly click of a mouse can do.

 I personally have done this multiple times and it has lead to 3 rather substantial phone informational interviews with Disney Cast Members. Bam! Meaningful connections made! 

5. Make NEW connections every day- 

Get on LinkedIn everyday and think, "Who have I met today?" (Professionally, socially, etc.). Then, LOOK THEM UP AND CONNECT. This will allow you to grow your network quickly.

Remember, making one connection, gives you access to all of that persons connections.

____________________________________________________________________________________

There are so many more magical things LinkedIn can do for you, they are almost infinite. Recruiters are making LinkedIn their "holy grail" of future employees.

So,make sure you are at "that LinkedIn Ball", or your magic might be out by midnight!

How to Avoid a Senior Meltdown

 

 

It's November, and for college seniors it's really starting to sink in that YOU ARE ALMOST OUT OF TIME!

 

That "moment" that you thought would never come (do I dare even say the word) is now less than roughly 6 months away. In order to avoid panic and hysteria (which you may or may not have experienced already) about:

 

1. What you are going to do with your life?

2. Where you are going to live?

3. How you are going to survive without all your friends?

 

 

.Breathe!..I am going to walk you through some easy methods to :

 

Avoid a Senior Meltdown

 

 

1. It's only November. Mountains aren't made in one day- If you are anything like me, you need to know what you are doing RIGHT NOW. Not three months from now. BUT NOW.

 

Well unfortunately, that is not how the job market works. If you are graduating in May, I suggest beginning a "Pre-search" during the holiday break. This does not meaning applying to jobs, but creating a list, researching, and organizing about potential companies you would like to work for and where in general you want to be (career wise).

 

 

February- START Applying. Take that list you made over winter break and make it a goal to apply to two positions per week.

 

And be sure you aren't applying blindly! No matter how desperate, you don't want to be stuck in a job you hate. So be sure to read job descriptions thoroughly (not to mention it just helps a lot during interviews and resume building, but that's another story)

 

2. Talk to Your Mentors- Call up your internship boss, self-proclaimed mentor, or a recent graduate you feel close to and ask them questions. How did they handle this moment in their life? How did they make some of these big decisions (grad school, apartment, roommates, first job)?

 

Be careful though, their opinion is "not the be all, end all". Just a little guidance for YOUR OWN PATH.

 

3. Start saving those pennies- Yes. I know that going to Starbucks every morning on your way to class is the perfect start to your day, but soon you will be paying bills you didn't even know existed. Goodbye Daddy's Girl Status.

 

Layout a weekly budget to "save" a certain amount of money. Even if it's just $10, that can add up. Whether you are looking for an apartment or getting ready to pay off that mounting college loan, it will be nice to open that piggy bank and see cash.

 

4. Be practical this Christmas- I was (and still am) the #1 proponent of getting "fun" gifts on Christmas (I was that kid that rolled their eyes when opening clothing).

 

But this year, set your Christmas List up for your future. Ask for items you will need for your apartment, extra cash to save, maybe a trip apartment browsing, or anything related to your future.

 

It's time to trade in your favorite Christmas present for a nice blender.

 

5. Realize that your first job, might not be your dream job- I myself need to work on this. After wanting to work for Disney for my entire life, I am learning I may not have my dream come true...just yet.

 

Part of "the real world" is taking the opportunities that come, as they come. Your first job may not be the fashion designer you always hoped of being or that high profile PR assistant position, but it's a stepping stone (and a very important one at that). Treat your first job just as you would your dream job.

 

The dedication, passion, and work ethic you show (even in a job you hate) will get the attention of your boss, and before you know it, that job you once hated now either got you a promotion or the tools you needs to hit the next best thing.

 

 

6. Don't let moments pass you by- I want you to stop freaking out, and just enjoy Senior Year! Yes, it's good to be on your feet, but worrying about things you can't control won't do anything. By worrying you will miss all those bittersweet moments. And for what? Nothing!

 

Trust that by continuing to work hard and plan smart, you will be just fine.

 

I promise.

 

 

Love,

Meredith

 



Find the Silver Lining...and LIVE!

It's Halloween. I am a senior in college who is laying in bed with a nasty case of pink eye that has ruined any plans I had of going out. I have never been out on Halloween or been to the holy ground of Soho in Tampa that is "MacDinton's". So tonight was supposed to be one of those, "Finally!" kind of nights.

To be brutally honest, October has been miserable:
1. A mishap with a t-shirt company
2. A two week long stretch of being sick as a dog
3. Constantly being unhappy with my body
4. Frustration over groups projects
5. Feeling betrayed by a group of friends
6. Not getting into the classes I need to graduate
7. Loving people more than they will ever love me
8. ....

I could probably go on and on if I could remember all the terrible things that happened to me this month. But as I sat here, down on myself about all the things going wrong in my life, one person came to mind...Jessy.

As many of you may know, I recently started an effort to raise money for a past University of Tampa Student and fellow marketing lover, Jessica Moran, who was a member of the business fraternity I belong to and was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia in February...

At the age of 25.

I have heard so many times growing up, "Things could be so much worse", but it wasn't till I started this effort, Jessy's Story, that the words really took meaning. I only know Jessy through pictures, stories, and the few conversations I have had with her on the phone. But it has been just enough to finally put a face with that phrase, "Things could be so much worse."

Yeah, I could be in a flirty costume dancing my friends, have a super model body I could flaunt every day, and have everything in my life be perfect. But would we ever then be able to see a silver lining? If everything was perfect?

Through Jessy's blog, The Inspiration Initiative, you never see one bit of a "Why me" attitude. Yeah, she has written about being fed up with being cooped up in the house all day, but she still managed to make us laugh and feel comfy with her Target socks and fireplace picture. The perfect interweaving of a silver lining. Her smile. Infectious personality (from what I can tell through the love and support of the website) and her writing, cancer has made Jessy herself a silver lining of life.

A person we can all look to and say, "THAT is how you LIVE, no matter what the circumstances."

So, I encourage you all.
Sit down.
Make a list.
Write down everything you are mad about, have gone wrong, don't like, or whatever makes you say, "Everything bad happens to me".

Then. Think.

What is your silver lining list?

For me:
1. Not having the perfect body, but being healthy and smart
2. Handling the t-shirt situation with finally learning to stand up for myself
3. Being sick, but finally taking the time to RELAX.
4. Group projects being the biggest laugh fest of my week, even if we don't get anything done.
5. Realizing that there are teachers who care enough to help me see out my senior year. No need to panic
6. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is a gift.
7. You DO have friends who care

Next time you are feeling down, find a silver lining in everything. You won' believe all the blessing you already have, even amongst all the misfortune.

Because as Jessy has showed me, even in something as evil as cancer there is a silver lining waiting....

 You just have to find it and never let go.