Sunday, December 14, 2014

5 Reasons Why You're Forever Stuck in the "Friendzone"





Single girls make the best "good friends", but we struggle to break out of the person "He talks to about his problems". You find yourself creating more and more feelings towards this guy who used to just be a friend, and now you can't figure out...

 
 
"Why am I good enough to be his "good friend", but not his "girlfriend"?
 
 
 
1. Young guys aren't ready to settle down-

As unfortunate as it is, especially for us fairytale/dreamer girls, guys in the 21st century aren't thinking about marriage in their early 20s and maybe even their late 20s. So while you are over there fantasizing about what color tux he is going to wear at your wedding (which you have already created on Pinterest), he is trying to decide what bar to go to that night with his 'bros'.




2. They respect you-

 Along with not wanting to settle down, lets be honest, most guys (especially college guys) aren't really into the "relationship" part of being with girls (if you know what I am hinting at). With that said, the friendship that you have created and the genuine, important person they see you as in their life, has caused them to never want to put you into the realm with the other girl's they plan to pick up at the bar that night. You have standards, class, and they don't want to ruin that because of their predisposition to simply have quick 'one on one's' with girls.

It's sweet of them...actually touching. But for the girl falling hard...IT SUCKS to be put into a glass cabinet.




3. You put too many expectations on your crush-

 When us single girls get crushes, we put them in this special category, with giddy expectations. But what we fail to realize is, these guys are actually at a disadvantage. They don't know that you are holding them to all these unknown expectations. And with guys being rather unresponsive to OBVIOUS, "I have a crush on you" hints, they don't respond, then you get upset...and the vicious cycle repeats itself until you are heartbroken because he doesn't seem to like you.

Chances are...he probably doesn't know that you have moved him from, "good friend" to "crush". Therefore, holding all these expectations to someone who doesn't even know. Is almost an unfair advantage on your part.




4. They just "aren't that into you"-

It's a tough blow, almost as brutal as a real breakup. But unfortunately not every guy you like is going to like you back...it's fact. You have to learn to crush for a little while, give some hints, and if he doesn't reciprocate within a reasonable amount of time...put him back in the "friend" category forever and move on.

Don't try to change yourself to "make your crush like you" or get upset, trying to answer all the "What ifs". Just accept that you aren't "his one"...but you are someone's. And make "being just friends" good enough.




5. You haven't made moves-

I am still working on the answer to the life long debate, "Should you tell your crush you like them?", but you definitely aren't going to get anywhere if you don't drop some hints. Touching, smiling, even eye contact can be subtle (and easy) ways to let your "friend" crush know "you see him". Having more of a presence in his life (but don't stalk too much) will help too. If you have been simply "being a close friend" the whole time, hoping that he would initiate some hints himself, you are dreaming. Guys for one, never make the first move, and they certainly don't get read minds. Be confident and make some moves!

And hey, if you think you are up for it, maybe tell him flat out. BUT, be cautious and prepared for any answer...including an "I don't feel the same way" response and the possible effects that could have on your friendship.



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The "friend zone" is a tough place to be. You for some reason aren't good enough to be their girlfriend, and it's exhausting trying to balance the surge of warm feelings you get about him while also trying to figure out what you are doing wrong.



Just stop thinking and let life take it's own course. You know what they say, "The best relationships start out as friendships".
 
So maybe you just need to be more patient and one day you might finally break out of the "friend zone".

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