NEW LOCATION!

Hello Readers,

After much success on Blogger, I have decided to move my blog to a more professional platform.

You can now read all my exciting articles, insights, and tips on www.seekingdisney.com.

Thanks for reading,

Meredith L. Brown

10 Struggles Every Single Girl Experiences Over Winter Break

Winter break is one of the hardest times to be single, besides the dreaded "Valentines Day". Every where you go it's either a "Kay" commercial pledging every guy to "begin a kiss with Kay", or constant re-runs of "Love Actually" on major networks. It's actually like Valentines Day, drawn out for over a month. And with college's not starting back till late January...it's going to be a long month of "Single Girl" struggles.



1. The minute you come back, BAM, ex-boyfriends crawl out from everywhere-
You are barely home (maybe even within minutes) and your phone already has the little, "Hey, I saw you are in town. Maybe we could get together...just as friends" text from your Ex...(you remember... the one who made you cry and took advantage of you over the summer, who told you that life isn't like a movie).

Girl, smile and close that phone. He isn't worth your time. Remember all those guys back at school who treat you a million times better. (Especially that crush you have had your eye one)



2. The realization that living under your parent's roof is not working for you anymore-
From "Who left their dishes in the sink?" to "What are your plans tonight?", within two days of being home you realize that coming home after graduation just isn't an option. You realize how much freedom school has given you and these few weeks are going to be like you were 5 years old again. ("Don't forget to turn the lights off when you are done in a room.") UGH....



3. The ability to watch an abundant amount of romance related Netflix-
Whether it's One Tree Hill reruns or romantic comedies, you have made the world of fictional characters your portal into love. And by the end of the break, you will have rehearsed several future love moments in your head based off of the countless Leonardo Dicaprio kisses you have seen.

Boys, get practicing!



4. Crush Separation Depression-
You were just getting close to your crush at the end of the semester. You know, you have him hooked but haven't had the chance to seal the deal. But that doesn't mean that right before break you both weren't sharing hugs, long conversations, and stares. You now have to wait a month to see him again, and the thought of going that long without seeing his gorgeous face is sad...I mean really sad.

How are you going to go without those kisses on the check he gives you?---I for one, have no idea.



5. You eat junk food because...no one's seeing this body anytime soon-
It's such a toss up. Part of you wants to kick yourself into Victoria's Secret shape, then the other part of you says, "Hey, who cares?" and you grab another Oreo.



6. You dress-up to go anywhere to let the people in your hometown know you got your life together-
Whether it's going to the grocery store or even running an errand with your mom, that's a prime place to look fabulous for someone you want to see you in "Tip Top" shape (i.e. ex-boyfriend or girl you hate from high school). So you find yourself taking 1 hour to get ready to go to Wal-mart....it's ok.

But hey, if your ex-boyfriend gets jealous...then it was well worth the extra effort.



7. You become dysfunctional without your bestie-
A month without your girl is torture. Your mom isn't up on all the boy talk and siblings certainly aren't interested in hearing your gush about that guy in accounting (who they don't even know). Who is going to eat crappy Chinese with you and drink wine while watching a cheesy lifetime movie?

Chances are you are going to call your bestie at least 3 times (Twice probably in tears and then the other time to tell her about a ridiculous event that just occurred).



8. You realize all your friends are either engaged, married, or have a kid-
...and your just over hear...still waiting for a first date.



9. Your Friday nights are not ideal-
Whether it's babysitting, sulking in your bedroom in the dark, or watching a corny Dateline rerun with your parents, your Friday nights surely aren't as exciting as they are during the semester. You find yourself flashing back to those nights at the club where that guy asked you for a dance or you and your girls went for IHop after a late night on the town and gushed about all the hot guys you met that night.

And now...you are just trying to make sure the baby goes down for a nap....THRILLING.



10. Home really isn't home anymore-
The biggest thing you probably realize when you are home is that "Home" isn't really home anymore. All your friends have moved on and the entire town has transformed. But most importantly, you  have changed. You aren't the girl you were in high school. You have become so much more. You have learned so much. Suddenly, even your bedroom doesn't have the same safe & sound feeling.

Maybe...you have finally found a new home.


Photocredit: 1

5 Reasons Why You're Forever Stuck in the "Friendzone"

Single girls make the best "good friends", but we struggle to break out of the person "He talks to about his problems". You find yourself creating more and more feelings towards this guy who used to just be a friend, and now you can't figure out...

 

 

"Why am I good enough to be his "good friend", but not his "girlfriend"?

 

 

 

1. Young guys aren't ready to settle down-

As unfortunate as it is, especially for us fairytale/dreamer girls, guys in the 21st century aren't thinking about marriage in their early 20s and maybe even their late 20s. So while you are over there fantasizing about what color tux he is going to wear at your wedding (which you have already created on Pinterest), he is trying to decide what bar to go to that night with his 'bros'.




2. They respect you-

 Along with not wanting to settle down, lets be honest, most guys (especially college guys) aren't really into the "relationship" part of being with girls (if you know what I am hinting at). With that said, the friendship that you have created and the genuine, important person they see you as in their life, has caused them to never want to put you into the realm with the other girl's they plan to pick up at the bar that night. You have standards, class, and they don't want to ruin that because of their predisposition to simply have quick 'one on one's' with girls.

It's sweet of them...actually touching. But for the girl falling hard...IT SUCKS to be put into a glass cabinet.




3. You put too many expectations on your crush-

 When us single girls get crushes, we put them in this special category, with giddy expectations. But what we fail to realize is, these guys are actually at a disadvantage. They don't know that you are holding them to all these unknown expectations. And with guys being rather unresponsive to OBVIOUS, "I have a crush on you" hints, they don't respond, then you get upset...and the vicious cycle repeats itself until you are heartbroken because he doesn't seem to like you.

Chances are...he probably doesn't know that you have moved him from, "good friend" to "crush". Therefore, holding all these expectations to someone who doesn't even know. Is almost an unfair advantage on your part.




4. They just "aren't that into you"-

It's a tough blow, almost as brutal as a real breakup. But unfortunately not every guy you like is going to like you back...it's fact. You have to learn to crush for a little while, give some hints, and if he doesn't reciprocate within a reasonable amount of time...put him back in the "friend" category forever and move on.

Don't try to change yourself to "make your crush like you" or get upset, trying to answer all the "What ifs". Just accept that you aren't "his one"...but you are someone's. And make "being just friends" good enough.




5. You haven't made moves-

I am still working on the answer to the life long debate, "Should you tell your crush you like them?", but you definitely aren't going to get anywhere if you don't drop some hints. Touching, smiling, even eye contact can be subtle (and easy) ways to let your "friend" crush know "you see him". Having more of a presence in his life (but don't stalk too much) will help too. If you have been simply "being a close friend" the whole time, hoping that he would initiate some hints himself, you are dreaming. Guys for one, never make the first move, and they certainly don't get read minds. Be confident and make some moves!

And hey, if you think you are up for it, maybe tell him flat out. BUT, be cautious and prepared for any answer...including an "I don't feel the same way" response and the possible effects that could have on your friendship.



___________________________________________________________________________________

The "friend zone" is a tough place to be. You for some reason aren't good enough to be their girlfriend, and it's exhausting trying to balance the surge of warm feelings you get about him while also trying to figure out what you are doing wrong.

Just stop thinking and let life take it's own course. You know what they say, "The best relationships start out as friendships".

 

So maybe you just need to be more patient and one day you might finally break out of the "friend zone".

Photo credit: 1



The 7 Hardest Goodbyes You Have to Make at Graduation

Graduation is always fun and exciting. All the attention is on you. You have worked so hard, tirelessly, to get here. You can't wait to walk across that stage and complete a monumental moment in your life. But as soon as you walk off that stage, you have a lot of goodbyes to make, and it's not going to be easy.

1. The goodbye to your current life-

After your graduate, things will never be the same. Unlike high school, there is no more transition period. College was the last safety zone. The last chance to figure out who you are, who you want to become, before you are thrust into the real world. The scary one that everyone warns you of, that never seemed real until now. You realize that all the fears of surviving, in a new city, a new lifestyle, a new job, are all too overwhelming.

That cap and gown is the last piece of college you will ever touch and then, your new life begins. Wherever that may be.

2. The goodbye to your best friend-

This may be the hardest goodbye of them all. The person you met maybe during move in freshman year or during a hard class you stayed up late studying together for. They have been there for you. Through the bad breakups and the embarrassing nights out. They were always close by. Someone you could walk to the door of, and cry.

But after graduation, who knows where your lives will lead. Almost certainly, you both will begin different journeys...in separate cities, separate states, or separate countries. And maybe your paths will never cross again. For fate will decide.

3. The goodbye to the professor you'll never forget-

Maybe you haven't loved every single one of your professors, but there is that one. The one that really impacted you. Who made a difference in your life. Who pulled you aside when they knew something was wrong or encouraged you when you were right, believing in you. Sometimes Professors impact us beyond the classroom, and those are the best moments.

The ones who no longer treat you like a student, but a mentee...someone who truly cares about both your academic and overall future. Their advice is genuine, memorable, but most of all SO TRUE.

4. The goodbye to the person you'll never be with-

 Obviously crushes are meant to be a secret, or only shared with your closest friends, but it's no secret that they are about to leave your life...getting away forever. The person that you wished you had the chance with. Maybe you're the girl who got him through the hard class because of what he thought was your simple eagerness to always help, or you're the guy who has always been the girl's right hand man, but nothing more.

For those of us who are good enough to be "a good friend" but nothing more, saying goodbye is going to sting...bad.

5. The goodbye to the person that changed your life-

This is that one person in college. The person you owe everything to. They guided you when you were lost and helped you make some of the most important, critical decisions of the past four years. This could be a boyfriend, girlfriend, mentor, ANYONE. The only requirement  is that they  essentially shaped who you are now. Making you a stronger, more confident person, sure of what you are capable of. This person you now recognize was sent to you for a reason...and now their chapter in your life is about to end.

You aren't sure how to cope.

6. The goodbye to your college self-

You have learned a lot in the past four years. You have grown from a scared, unsure freshmen to a person you sometimes don't even recognize...in a good way. But just like you have changed in the past, you will change after this day. Graduation will propel you toward a whole new adventure, one far scarier then the one that has just passed. And again, you will change with every passing year.

You will always continue to grow and change. So realize that the person you are in that cap and gown, will not be the person you are 3 years from now or 10 years. Life changes a lot of things.

 _________________________________________________________________________________

If I have one piece of advice for you. Don't let anyone get away without saying goodbye. Closure is the best thing.

So hug tight and let no words left unsaid. Because every chapter within our lives should have a complete ending.

3 Little Moments that Restored my faith in "Man"kind

As a single girl, I have a lot of time to dream about "the perfect man". But unfortunately this has also left me with a lot of time to realize that "the perfect man" just doesn't exist.

...Or does he?

Maybe we aren't going to nail the perfect guy, the one who compliments us on a bad hair day or makes us breakfast in bed. Because ONE perfect guy doesn't exist. Single girls of the 21st century have decided that "chivalry is dead" and that guys are practically the world enemy. They are crude, just waiting to crush our hearts into 1,000 pieces.

But maybe we aren't giving them a chance. Maybe if you look harder, listen harder, and open up, you will realize that believe it or not...some mom's of the 90's did a damn good job.

1. The trivial gift that meant everything-

 I have one of those keyboard covers, cheap from Amazon, on my laptop. It has saved my laptop ("Leopold") countless times from death by coffee. After having my nice little bouncy, purple keyboard cover for over 6 months, half of the letters had been eroded away by my long, unruly fingernails. Half the letters were missing and to be honest it was a little embarrassing, it looked like a jack Russell puppy got a hold of it.

One of the men in my life, one that I mentioned in a previous post (actually several previous posts he is that perfect), noticed my keyboard multiple times. He picked on me about it, repeatedly pointing out that my "I" was missing (jokester...very funny).

One day, I came into a group meeting to find his hands behind his back, "I hope she doesn't see it". When I asked him what he had, he pulled out a brand new keyboard cover.

You would have thought the boy just proposed, I was so struck. Something so simple, I never asked for, he knew nothing about...and he took the initiative to get me a new one. To do something for me.

He paid attention to the little things, the real things that make a girl  happy. Which often aren't an elaborate gift, but the little things only a perfect guy would take notice to.

2. The late night walk-

 When you are a girl like me, meltdowns are part of your life. You have them all the time, often over dumb stuff. But most of the time, they come from an accumulation of stress, being overwhelmed, loneliness, and a whole of slew emotions that hit you like a freight train.

Well, one Monday night I came out of a meeting, called my mom, and proceeded to have a meltdown. I was so stressed out about school and upset about some things happening within my friend circle, how I was being treated, how things were in that moment for me. I thought no one cared.

I went to my favorite spot on campus, which happens to be a bench my former mentor and I used to talk on, just outside the library...my home away from home. With makeup everywhere (and I mean it was probably really embarrassing), anyone could tell I was upset.

But here is the difference, instead of passing me by like most girls think any guy today would do, one of my guy friends, whom I wouldn't say I was close to at the time maybe he wasn't even a friend then, stopped. He knew I was upset. He told me to come see him when I was done (keep in mind my poor mother was still on the phone at this point and makeup was still everywhere).

What will go down as one of the most memorable nights of my entire college career, maybe life (but hey I am still young), we talked for almost two hours after that. We walked around campus late at night. Which I gotta admit I was constantly comparing it to some romantic scenes I had seen in movies. But before this becomes a diary entry...

It was the first time that a guy that I never thought had so much depth...was so interesting and easy to talk to. He felt the same way I do about life philosophies and the ways of the world. He wasn't what I thought. I my head, he had always been the guy girl's always told me to "Watch out for".

Well now I just laugh at those girl's, they sure don't know what they are talking about.

He isn't anything like they give him credit for. Maybe us girls are to quick to judge. Not every "bad guy" is bad. Maybe...we just need to look deeper.

3. The text message that changed my day-

 This year was my first Thanksgiving away from home. While I was with a great friend and her wonderful family...it just wasn't the same. Her boyfriend joined us for the holiday which was great, but as every single girl probably agrees, the holidays are the most depressing time to be single. Everything is magnified. Facebook posts of your friends with their boyfriends and countless family gatherings where you are asked, "So, do you have a boyfriend?" (Which most of us want to scream back in reply "No, does it matter?!!!", but that would of course not be ladylike).

So there I was, thinking that not a single person in the world was thinking of me...especially a guy. But then I check my phone to find the sweetest, most perfect (practically indescribable) text message from a guy I least expected.

He thanked me for everything I have done for him, he told me how amazing I was, and that he loved me. Now yes, I am not getting carried away but let's be serious, do boys throw around the "big three" words with no meaning...or do they mean what they mean?....

Just a token for thought....I'll let you decide.

Either way, I was so taken back. Yeah, he isn't like the #1 guy on my list (for those of you who don't know me, I have a list of guys I like and I rank them...weird I know but it works). Let's say I don't even think this guy was in the top 10....until now. He never really fit my criteria...till now.

So why does he make the top 5 now? Because he was thoughtful, kind, and emotional. And isn't that what every girl dreams of in a guy.

Ladies, I think we need to start opening our eyes. The "perfect men" still exist, but not if you don't take notice to their subtle gestures that remind you...

 

"the little things are infinitely the most important"

 

If you keep waiting around for "the perfect man", so many great guys will pass you buy.  

 

 

10 Things Every Wrestling Sister Has Lived Through

If you have had a sibling who has wrestled, you understand that it is not just a sport, but a lifestyle. For us sisters who had brothers that wrestled, we spent most of our childhoods in a crowded, loud gym watching "Timmy's" dad lose his temper at a ref and countless tiny tikes throw their headgear across the room in anger. (Some of those moments are hysterical)

But for all us wrestling sisters, there is so much more we have lived through:

1. When they lose-
 It's a toss up. They are either going to start bawling or get mad. If they get mad, chances are they are going to throw their head gear (in any manner), and proceed to not speak to anyone for an unknown amount of time.

If they go for the crying option, it's usually really dramatic. Some prefer to throw themselves down on the matt or cry in the bleacher.

For wrestling sisters, these are usually times where we are supposed to act calm, but most of us couldn't (and still can't) help but get in a little laugh at the Oscar worthy dramatic performances we have seen over the years.

2. The hours you have spent in a car-
If your brother was a hard core wrestler, you have traveled to more high schools than the average American ever will in their entire lifetime. You have mastered the ability to sleep in any position, in any vehicle.

3. FOOD is a touchy subject-
 If they are cutting weight, your entire house turns into a desert and suddenly you are starving too because the only food in your house is carrots and jello. Every meal out must include options that "the wrestler" can eat and you get to hear them complain every three minutes that they are hungry.

Not only that, but wrestlers prefer to do the "I am going to open the fridge knowing I can't eat anything" and then walk away about 100 times a day. I think just looking at it makes them less hungry (I am not sure what the real philosophy is behind that). We enjoy our ability to watch them do this, while eating a stack of syrup smothered pancakes.

We are sorry you didn't pick sumo wrestling.

4. The coaches are pretty much your second family-
Things have gotten serious when your wrestling coach has been to your house more times then some of your relatives.

5. The pain of waiting around for brackets and trophy pictures-
So the tournament that you have been at since 7am has finally ended, but now you get to wait around for 2 hours for the bracket to be updated with a sharpie marker and for pictures to be taken.

For a sister, these hours are brutally long and your ability to complain to your parents reaches an all time high during this time period.

6. You eat mostly candy and hotdogs on the weekends-
 With wrestling tournaments every weekend, your diet mostly consists of the candy you managed to smuggle in your purse and the mediocre hot dog from the parent run concession stand. Yeah, it's good. But eating two packs of Twizzlers just doesn't cut it and by the end of the day you feel like you could eat more than all the wrestlers in the room combined. Sitting on bleachers makes you hungry for sure.

7. Packing enough stuff to "Entertain Yourself"-
 Every sister, or sibling for that matter, knows that wrestling matches  ARE THE MOST BORING EVENT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD (especially when you are little). Wrestling sisters all over the country spend a great deal of time planning the various toys, books, games, and activities they are going to bring along to entertain themselves for the 12 hours. But no matter what, it's never enough.

8. "What's that on your skin??!!!!"-
Have you ever been in a wrestling household when the word, "Ring worm" is spoken. It usually results in the wrestling mom freaking out and booking an appointment with the doctor right away.

For any wrestling sister, they have learned that ringworm, cauliflower ear, and any other gross wrestling side effect means instant panic in the household. Then you are sat down and instructed not to make a scene about it or tell anyone at school.

No worries, I am just a 4th grader whose brother has worms growing in him (or so we think at that age).

9. There is no  wrestling "season"- 
You think, "Oh, wrestling is only from November to March. It won't be that bad". Whelp, you are wrong. Every year your brother is in it, miraculously it goes from a 5 month thing to a 12 month thing.  If they aren't wrestling on a team, they are wrestling at a summer camp. If they aren't wrestling at a summer camp, they are wrestling at a tournament. If they aren't wrestling at a tournament, they are at a wrestling duals.

You get the picture. Wrestling is never over. So sisters learn to just celebrate the season all year long (or pray that it goes away).

10. The many people you met-
 As much as you hate the times when you slept on bonny bleachers or had to miss a sleepover with a friend to go to your brother's wrestling match, you did have some great moment's yourself. Whether it was playing with another wrestling sister, watching someone's cute baby for the day, or going out to eat with another family afterwards, these definitely were some great memories with people you would have never met had your parents not dragged you along to every wrestling event.

Voices of the Back Row- Why some members of your campus organization aren't involved

Those of us who are leaders, we often get wrapped up in all the people that aren't doing things in our organization. The people that sit in the back,the people that never show up. We spend so much of our time complaining about them and trying to understand why they aren't doing what they need to do and are involved in an organization that they signed up to be a part of.

But have you ever really taken the time to listen to them? To stop complaining for 10 minutes, to find out what is going on.

1. They feel like they have no voice-

Organizations on a college campus can become huge quickly. Some organizations can reach over 100 members or bigger, depending on the size of the university. And with this, there will indefinitely be a handful of people that will start to become bodies in the room, instead of the valuable members that they could have been.

Maybe it's because in this room of countless people, they feel their voice isn't heard. With organizations having elected leaders and  cliquey in nature, many of the more introverted members become lost quickly and before you know it, they simply come to meetings. They feel because they are not a part of the "elite/popular" members or a leader, they don't matter. New members may not even know they belong to the organization, an even bigger sting to their understanding that they mean nothing to the organization.

Solution: As a leader, it's your responsibility to stop complaining and reach out. You are part of the problem if you keep complaining about people, but not reaching out. Maybe ask during your organizations meeting, "Sarah, what do you think?", n front of the entire organization. Yes they may be a little timid at first and shy, but once they get out what they have to say, acknowledge, "Oh, I never thought about it like that" or "Thanks for sharing". This one burst of speech, not only will have heads turning towards the back row, but will finally give that person an acknowledgement. They now know you see them, you care what they have to say. Next time, you might not have to prompt them, they may be inclined to speak themselves.

2. They feel unimportant-

 For those that have become the back row, the organization is just one of their many weekly activities they have to go to. They do the minimum they need to stay in, but nothing more. They have given up on being a part of the leadership that runs the organization, or maybe they feel like they don't fit in there. The friends within the organization they used to have graduated or they never were able to make friends to begin with. Because friendships build strength in organizations, those who feel they don't belong, become alienated and the whole purpose of the organization becomes invaluable. It can be almost painful for some.

Solution: Give them a responsibility. Sometimes all it takes is holding someone accountable, to make them realize why they are in the organization...because they belong their. If your group is planning an event, make them a committee member, or ask them to help you with one of your position's responsibilities. They not only will feel valued, but will get a behind the scenes peak of what the organization is about. It will make them realize why they joined in the first place. Often it takes someone to feel like they have a place in an organization, a role. The accountability will give them confidence and something to connect themselves to within the organization, not to mention that people in the organization will learn who they are and friendships will begin.

3. They see it as a waste of their time-

This is a problem that you as a leader have to solve. If your meetings and events are something that could be relayed in an email, then this encourages even more people to question why they are there. So members that already feel like they don't have a voice and are unimportant, really don't want to go.

Solution: Rule of thumb, is your meeting something that you would let the President of your university drop in on and you would 100% be proud of their experience? If you are thinking no, it's time to rethink how you run your meetings or events.

4. Leaders, are you doing your job?-

Leaders of an organization quickly get tunnel vision and become overly critical. They begin to only surround themselves with those they think matter, the people within leadership and those in the organization that "do what they are supposed to do". Leaders soon start gossiping about those back seat members and it starts to consume the organization. Soon, those people are so alienated that any chance of them becoming more involved is now extinguished.

This is ALL WRONG!!!! Leaders are supposed to motivate and inspire. A sign of a good leader are those that can get those people from being back seat members one day, to leading the organization themselves. Your test as a true leader are the leaders you create, by mentoring, bonding, and creating friendships. One of those back row people could be the next president of the organization, but because you won't give them a chance, they never will be. So then are you a leader?

Solution- Vow to stop gossiping about these people and asking, "Why don't they do "this"", "Why don't they do "that"?", and start being a leader. Learn what is wrong and find solutions to fix it. Make them feel important, have a one-on-one with them, maybe try something different process-wise with the organization.

Some of your organization's next leaders, may be sitting in the back row.