As a single girl, I have a lot of time to dream about "the perfect man". But unfortunately this has also left me with a lot of time to realize that "the perfect man" just doesn't exist.
...Or does he?
Maybe we aren't going to nail the perfect guy, the one who compliments us on a bad hair day or makes us breakfast in bed. Because ONE perfect guy doesn't exist. Single girls of the 21st century have decided that "chivalry is dead" and that guys are practically the world enemy. They are crude, just waiting to crush our hearts into 1,000 pieces.
But maybe we aren't giving them a chance. Maybe if you look harder, listen harder, and open up, you will realize that believe it or not...some mom's of the 90's did a damn good job.
1. The trivial gift that meant everything-
I have one of those keyboard covers, cheap from Amazon, on my laptop. It has saved my laptop ("Leopold") countless times from death by coffee. After having my nice little bouncy, purple keyboard cover for over 6 months, half of the letters had been eroded away by my long, unruly fingernails. Half the letters were missing and to be honest it was a little embarrassing, it looked like a jack Russell puppy got a hold of it.
One of the men in my life, one that I mentioned in a previous post (actually several previous posts he is that perfect), noticed my keyboard multiple times. He picked on me about it, repeatedly pointing out that my "I" was missing (jokester...very funny).
One day, I came into a group meeting to find his hands behind his back, "I hope she doesn't see it". When I asked him what he had, he pulled out a brand new keyboard cover.
You would have thought the boy just proposed, I was so struck. Something so simple, I never asked for, he knew nothing about...and he took the initiative to get me a new one. To do something for me.
He paid attention to the little things, the real things that make a girl happy. Which often aren't an elaborate gift, but the little things only a perfect guy would take notice to.
2. The late night walk-
When you are a girl like me, meltdowns are part of your life. You have them all the time, often over dumb stuff. But most of the time, they come from an accumulation of stress, being overwhelmed, loneliness, and a whole of slew emotions that hit you like a freight train.
Well, one Monday night I came out of a meeting, called my mom, and proceeded to have a meltdown. I was so stressed out about school and upset about some things happening within my friend circle, how I was being treated, how things were in that moment for me. I thought no one cared.
I went to my favorite spot on campus, which happens to be a bench my former mentor and I used to talk on, just outside the library...my home away from home. With makeup everywhere (and I mean it was probably really embarrassing), anyone could tell I was upset.
But here is the difference, instead of passing me by like most girls think any guy today would do, one of my guy friends, whom I wouldn't say I was close to at the time maybe he wasn't even a friend then, stopped. He knew I was upset. He told me to come see him when I was done (keep in mind my poor mother was still on the phone at this point and makeup was still everywhere).
What will go down as one of the most memorable nights of my entire college career, maybe life (but hey I am still young), we talked for almost two hours after that. We walked around campus late at night. Which I gotta admit I was constantly comparing it to some romantic scenes I had seen in movies. But before this becomes a diary entry...
It was the first time that a guy that I never thought had so much depth...was so interesting and easy to talk to. He felt the same way I do about life philosophies and the ways of the world. He wasn't what I thought. I my head, he had always been the guy girl's always told me to "Watch out for".
Well now I just laugh at those girl's, they sure don't know what they are talking about.
He isn't anything like they give him credit for. Maybe us girls are to quick to judge. Not every "bad guy" is bad. Maybe...we just need to look deeper.
3. The text message that changed my day-
This year was my first Thanksgiving away from home. While I was with a great friend and her wonderful family...it just wasn't the same. Her boyfriend joined us for the holiday which was great, but as every single girl probably agrees, the holidays are the most depressing time to be single. Everything is magnified. Facebook posts of your friends with their boyfriends and countless family gatherings where you are asked, "So, do you have a boyfriend?" (Which most of us want to scream back in reply "No, does it matter?!!!", but that would of course not be ladylike).
So there I was, thinking that not a single person in the world was thinking of me...especially a guy. But then I check my phone to find the sweetest, most perfect (practically indescribable) text message from a guy I least expected.
He thanked me for everything I have done for him, he told me how amazing I was, and that he loved me. Now yes, I am not getting carried away but let's be serious, do boys throw around the "big three" words with no meaning...or do they mean what they mean?....
Just a token for thought....I'll let you decide.
Either way, I was so taken back. Yeah, he isn't like the #1 guy on my list (for those of you who don't know me, I have a list of guys I like and I rank them...weird I know but it works). Let's say I don't even think this guy was in the top 10....until now. He never really fit my criteria...till now.
So why does he make the top 5 now? Because he was thoughtful, kind, and emotional. And isn't that what every girl dreams of in a guy.
Ladies, I think we need to start opening our eyes. The "perfect men" still exist, but not if you don't take notice to their subtle gestures that remind you...
"the little things are infinitely the most important"
If you keep waiting around for "the perfect man", so many great guys will pass you buy.
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